I don’t believe in love at first sight. It’s lust. And I’m extremely guilty of it.
It’s not that I expect to fall head over heels for the attractive barista at Starbucks, though it would be nice. I’m not even referring to pursuing a relationship based solely on the fact that I find the other person ridiculously attractive.
There’s a spark that I’ve noticed with random strangers. It’s an instinctive physical attraction and I haven’t a clue what it’s based on. All it takes is a moment of eye contact, or a shy half-smile, and it’s enough to get me daydreaming. Maybe it’s because I’m too imaginative. Maybe it’s because I’ve been single for far too long. But there’s something undeniably irresistible about the thought of a whirlwind romance. For a split second, a vivid “what if?” moment occurs. I can’t help but wonder what a life with this person would look like.
The power of physical attraction has been the motivator behind so many bad decisions. Sometimes it’s harmless fun, like talking to the cute guy or girl at the end of the bar. Other times, that same decision leads to a walk of a shame the next morning where you deeply regret how much you had to drink. Physical attraction almost always precedes emotional attachment. After all, you wouldn’t have approached that stranger if they didn’t catch your eye. The danger is mistaking that empty attraction for love.
Everyone loves differently. Some people fall fast and others need to take their time. But it’s not love if all you value is that his hair looks sexy pushed back (yes that is a Mean Girls reference). It’s human nature to crave social connection and be curious, in fact, I do it all the time. Push yourself out of your comfort zone to experience the world and the people in it.
Just remember, attraction doesn’t guarantee love just as an overcast sky doesn’t always predict rain.