Last night, I went for dinner with a friend and after getting through the topics of school, work and celebrity gossip, the conversation turned to dating, as it typically does.
“Honestly, I don’t think you’ll ever get married or be in a serious relationship. No one would be able to handle you,” she said through a mouth full of calamari.
At that moment, I was a little too focused on my bruschetta to really think about what she had said. It was hours later, when I was home that I realized she had essentially told me I’d be a batty old cat lady. I was completely outraged. I wasn’t aware that my supposed friend had switched from a career in political science to fortune telling. Who was she to tell me my future would be bleak and loveless?!
After the anger subsided, I switched to defence. Of course I wouldn’t be alone forever! Someone would eventually fall for me. After all, I had tons of great(ish) qualities! To prove it, I came up with 10 reasons why I’m dateable and wouldn’t be spending the rest of my life with just my goldfish for companionship.
10 Reasons to Date Me
1. I don’t listen to country music.
2. I give great presents.
3. I’m easy-going for dates. You want to go to a fancy restaurant? Sure I’ll go put on my heels. You want to stay in and play video games? Let me go pick up a pizza.
4. I’m really good at making breakfast foods. (And no that’s not supposed to be suggestive.)
5. You won’t ever have to wait for me to finish getting ready because I’m always on time. Maybe slightly obsessive about being punctual but that’s besides the point.
6. I will never make you sit through a movie based on a Nicholas Sparks book.
7. My hair always smells nice.
8. I’m 5’2 so it’s basically guaranteed you’ll be taller than me.
9. I’m not afraid of spiders.
10. Parents seriously love me. I can bond with moms over recipes and dads over cars any day.
Considering how long it took me to make this slightly pathetic list, maybe
I will be alone forever I’ll be perfectly happy with a cat (or 5).