The Recipe for an Ideal Man

I’ve been single for so long, I don’t even know what my type is anymore. I can’t tell if I’m privy to a particular personality in a potential love interest, or if I’m just plain indifferent. Over the past couple years, rather than figuring out what I want, I’ve become  quite skilled at figuring out what I don’t want.

If I met the perfect guy tomorrow, would I even recognize him? Would I be able to distinguish the traits and quirks that attracted me to him? Do I know what I’m even looking for?!

The answer to all those questions is no. Partially because I’m not Nostradamus and can’t predict attraction. But mostly because I have no idea what kind of man I want. Is it the easygoing party boy or the quiet book worm? Is it the class clown or the class president?

I seriously have no idea.

So like always, I decided to make a list. Here’s my recipe for the perfect man:

1. Passionate (about something other than me of course)
There’s nothing worse than being busy with something you enjoy only to be disrupted by a nagging boyfriend that’s bored. I want someone who is committed to something and loves the time or effort it requires. If he commits to something by choice it shows that he can commit to me.

2. Can carry a conversation
There’s no question about it, I love talking. Probably a little too much, but that’s not the point.  I have opinions and I love sharing them and hearing others’ thoughts on the matter. It’s easy to be with someone on exciting days where there’s loads to do that keeps you busy, but I want someone who makes the boring days go by just as fast as the exciting ones with their words.

3. Good Taste in Music
Alright I know that music is a very subjective and personal experience, but I can be a music snob sometimes. I try to keep an open mind but Nicki Minaj and Pitbull just don’t appeal to me. My anaconda don’t… Want a man who likes that song (I hate myself for making that reference. Ick).

4. Easygoing Sense of Humour
Life can be dark and twisty all on its own so you need someone to brighten it up with a good sense of humour. Alright so “good” is kind of a vague term. My sense of humour is kind of dry and sarcastic and more often biting than not. I want a guy who can take a little teasing and return it too.

5. Confidence
Not the gross confidence where he’s all “Oh I’m the coolest guy in the room and I have a nice car and I workout everyday which means I’m so much better than you”. For me, confidence is the ability to thrive on your own because you don’t need the approval of others to survive. It’s also incredible sexy.

6. Well-Dressed
So most men are hopeless when it comes to dressing themselves. And really I don’t need someone who wears freshly pressed slacks and button-up shirts everyday. A simple v-neck and jeans will do the trick. Just remember guys: no you can’t wear sweatpants to a party and no you can’t wear striped shirts with plaid shorts. Don’t pair patterns together and I’m sure you’ll do just fine.

7. Likes Harry Potter
Extremely self-explanatory.

8. Appreciates Friday nights with Netflix
There’s an important balance between partying on the weekends or staying in to cuddle and watch movies. Too much of either isn’t healthy. Since I’m basically an 85 year old trapped in a twenty something’s body, I might lean more towards cozy nights in. I want someone who can encourage me to go out, but is also perfectly comfortable spending a night on the couch in front of the TV.

9. Intelligent
Nothing ruins a perfectly good looking guy like a brain that’s empty of any substance whatsoever. We’ll all be old and wrinkly someday anyways, and a pretty face won’t pass the time. An intelligent man is open-minded and always has something interesting to say. Critical thinking is super hot y’all.

10. Doesn’t take 6 hours to answer a text
I’ve said it before in Disclaimers to a Future Boyfriend, but I’m not a huge fan of texting all day every day. But if you’re talking about something important or trying to make plans, not getting a reply within a reasonable time frame is more than a little frustrating. I had a friend who was dating someone who would make plans, and not bother to text her if he had to cancel. That’s just… No. That’s all I have to say to someone who does that. No.

So as it turns out, I do know a little something about what I’m looking for…

I won’t mention how long it took me to come up with this list though.

– S.

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7 thoughts on “The Recipe for an Ideal Man

  1. I just want to encourage you and let you know that men like that really do exist. I promise. I married one 18 years ago and we are still going strong….dry, sarcastic humor, Friday nights either cuddling up and watching a movie or going out to eat and hitting up Barnes and Noble, or even hanging out with friends. He is loving and compassionate, but not possessive and smothering….and he always replied to texts. I wish you the best on the love of your life. He will be there the moment you aren’t looking 🙂


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