There’s nothing that makes a bad day seem worse than knowing you’re about to get a cold. The couple days just before you get sick where you feel sneeze-y, achy and just cranky in general is worse than the actual sickness. When you’re actually sick, at least you know there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. In three to seven days, you’ll be in tip top shape, ready to take on the world.
The few days before? Forget about it.
I woke up with a heavy head and extremely heavy eyelids. It was the first time my alarm had gone off at 6:30 AM in a week, and I was feeling the strain. My eyes were red and one slightly bigger than the other. Paired with my runny nose, I was finding it hard to feel attractive (or get my eyeliner even).
I managed to avoid traffic and get to class on time (early, actually) so I sat checking my social media on my phone and drinking my tea. A largely uneventful morning changed when a small girl with an oversized backpack decided to storm through the narrow seats and knock my travel mug over.
All over my laptop. And my white shirt. And my disgruntled neighbour.
Naturally, to perk me up even more, she neglected to acknowledge her mistake or apologize. Good manners are so fun. After being incredibly irritated for my entire first class, I convinced myself to let it go and try to be positive.
Unfortunately at this point I was tired, hungry, and having a bad hair day. The forecast for positivity was looking bleak.
I don’t know what it is about the general grossness of a cold that can make tiny, inconsequential matters seem like the end of the world. I started the day feeling mildly annoyed, and ended it feeling a puzzle piece that was being jammed in the wrong spot. I started questioning how I fit in with my friends, overanalyzing how people saw me, and just feeling like I needed an escape from my life ASAP.
All that from a sore throat and a stuffy nose.
I constantly struggle with focusing on finding happiness within myself rather than on situational factors, but my patience is just being tested this week. I’m not the person who gets worked up over spilt milk (or tea in my case), and I don’t like how whiny I’m being.
It’s only positivity from now on, stuffy nose be damned!
Except… I have class with a terrifying instructor who thrives off of picking students to practice case studies in front of the entire class and loves criticizing them. I also have a 12 hour clinical shift. And a paper to work on.
Perhaps I’ll save the attempt at positivity for next week.