Making Plans

Every psychology book and self-help quote will remind you that humans are social creatures, and thus need friendships and social outings to keep them alive. The act of being social is as important to psychological health as water is for physical health.

We need friends. We need people to talk to. We need to share our hopes and dreams and innermost feelings. We need to be around other people, if only so we learn how to imitate socially appropriate behaviour for the sake of society. People need people.

So we make plans.

Or in my case, try to make plans. I seem to be having trouble getting past that planning stage into the execution of getting together with people. It’s seriously salting my game (shoutout to all of you who watched The OC).

I feel like while everyone is out living up the best years of their reckless twenties, I’m rooted in place as the boring one with far too many responsibilities. Part of that comes from the fact that I’ve never enjoyed the reckless fun that my friends and other people my age do. The other part comes from my commitment to work every evening. And I literally mean every evening.

See, my parents have recently accepted a leadership position that’s every evening for the next three years. Being part of a family business means that I’ve had to step up and put in slightly more hours than I’m used to. For the most part, I’m okay with this. They pay for basically everything, and I could never afford school and my car and all the other little luxuries I like without them. At the end of the day, I’m undeniably grateful.

But I’m a social being. And chatting with customers simply isn’t cutting it.

Most of my friends make plans in the evening/night, when they’re all done work. They go out to bars and clubs and stay out for the rest of the night. While I technically could meet them after I’m done work at 11, I just don’t want to. After work, the last thing I honestly want is to be shoved against drunk, sweaty people. Not to mention I don’t drink or smoke. That pretty much strikes down the majority of plans they would be interested in.

Trying to be flexible, I suggest things we could do in the afternoons before work. This generally isn’t received well as my friends say they’d be too hungover to get up that “early”.

Once again I find myself at the opposite end of a divide between myself and the other people in my life. It’s a divide I either don’t want to, or don’t know how to close. And I guess there’s no real solution for that.

There’s just a few truths keeping me going:

1. This isn’t forever.

2. I’m exactly where I need to be at the moment.

3. There’s a reason for everything, and I’m headed somewhere pretty great, even if I don’t know it yet.

4. Change. Things change more than they stay the same. Accept the change.

Sometimes I feel incredibly alone and isolated. Sometimes I look up and see everything that I have and feel a weird kind of optimism. Sometimes I don’t know what I’m feeling at all.

If the worst thing in my life right now is that I’m a little too busy to have fun, then I guess I’ll consider myself pretty lucky.

– S.

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